My marriage of 7 years just ended because my wife gave her phone number to a guy at a grocery store she felt a connection to. This man is the same man who almost broke up our marriage a year ago. My heart told me to end it then. My mind did not. My mind told me to stay because it didn't want to deal with the truth. Too much to lose. The mind doesn’t like losing.

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The heart, on the other hand, understands loss is a part of life and often a healthy one. My heart knew my marriage was over. My heart kept whispering to me to end it, that she didn't love me anymore. My mind told me not to. A year ago, I listened to my mind, but when I found out recently about her renewed contact, I listened to my heart. This time I listened to the quiet voice of the heart, that not only communicated to my mind to end it, but that after I heal I will find a loving and kind woman to connect with on a deeper and truthful level.

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No matter what happens in our lives, whether it’s rejection, loss, disappointment, betrayal or something else, we must always, always listen to the heart and the messages it subtly speaks. But how do you know the difference between what the heart is saying and what the mind is saying? How do you know what the mind tells you you're feeling and what the heart really feels, instead?

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Here are 7 suggestions that will help you understand the language of the heart:

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1. First, do some research on the heart. I suggest reading books about the heart, like The Heart's Code by Paul Pearsall and an anthology called Handbook for the Heart, edited by Richard Carlson and Benjamin Shield.

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2. Make a decision to be open to your heart and then do some writing to get in touch with your heart. Ask your heart questions. Ask your heart what it wants you to know right now. Be open to the answers. Don't let the ego or the mind distract you from this experience. You are on a path of spiritual growth and getting in touch with your heart is part of this process.

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3. Meditate to quiet your mind. What you are doing is allowing your mind to rest so you can be in touch with your spirit, which I'm convinced resides in the heart. Here are some good books to start with: Meditation by OSHO, Instant Meditation For Stress Relief by John Hudson, and Meditation Made Easy by Lorin Roche.

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4. When something happens in life that the mind perceives as negative, ask your heart how it perceives the same event, and be open to the answer. You will be surprised by what it says. Be open to listening to the heart's response, instead, that doesn't know contradiction. Talk to your heart. Listen to the answers.

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5. Make the decision to be aware. Be aware of your thoughts, of the energy around you, of nature, of your reactions to life's events. When you are aware, you are opening your heart. And part of being aware means you must quiet that voice of your mind. In your awareness, acknowledge its presence but listen to your heart.

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6. Trust in the quiet voice of your heart. Treat your heart with respect. Talk to your heart. Get to know your heart.

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7. Finally, ask yourself how something feels before you analyze it with your mind. Then ask yourself this: What is the true feeling behind the reaction? In my opinion, there are two types of feelings and one is not real. The feeling that is perceived as real but that is not real, is the one your mind creates. This feeling is a falsehood. The heart is the only true test of knowing how something feels. You will often find the heart's voice when you are in trancelike states, like when you are driving, taking a shower, gardening, hiking in nature, swimming or meditating. Pay attention to the voices that come during those times.

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Ending my marriage was one of the best things I have ever done for myself. My heart guided me and is still helping me to understand the hurt I feel because of my wife's betrayal. But my heart also told me not to blame her, not to be angry anymore at what happened, that I was at fault too, that we drifted apart and changed, that the life path once shared was not to be shared anymore. I'm still healing but my heart says I will be fine, that now I have the freedom to create a life based on my heart's true vision. A life surrounded by what makes me happy, a life of joy and appreciation, of love and respect, and fulfillment.

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Jody Helfand has over 50 publications in poetry and prose. He has an MFA in Creative Writing and an MA in English and has been teaching English and writing for over 15 years. His first book of poems, Places Male And Female, can be found on http://www.poeticapublishing.com/ . His second book, But How Did They Live?, about the Holocaust, will be published in February 2011. Visit his website at http://www.jodyrosehelfand.com/  . - Linda Pressman, Blog Editor