Poetica Magazine

She says he wasn't disappointed,

not a bit, not really,

by having seven daughters in a row.

That he talked and talked about

having a son but that really

he didn't care.

.

But I think about lives of grave disappointment,

and I think about marriages built not on love

but obligation.

And I think about him living his life for

his parents, for his brother,

for Jewish history,

and it makes me sad,

though he doesn't deserve my pity.

.

And I can feel his life

all around me now.

Him, running and running as fast as he could

from the truth.

Running from facing the death inside of life

until he stood inside his own death,

face down in the back of our store.

.

And I wish I didn't think that my birth was more

disappointing than the rest,

but wasn't number six really just a throwaway?

And wasn't number six really just a bit redundant?

and didn't he deserve a boy finally when

even his brothers each got one?

.

But my mom says that he came to the hospital

and tapped on the nursery window

and compared my baby beauty to that of

dead relatives left in unmarked graves in Poland.

And that he loved me, really.

.

by Linda Pressman

Originally appeared in Poetica Magazine March 2008.  Reprinted here for member Sunil Uniyal